Just Like A Snake In The Grass

Well it's that time of year...spring...when a young man's fancy turns to love. For us male homosapiens, especially those on the cold praries, this means being reintroduced to the female form as parkas are turned in and replaced by tank tops, ski pants by skirts and capris, boots by sandals and toques by sunglasses. Go one step lower on the evolutionary scale and you will notice that mammals everywhere are 'doing it.' Rabbits are the most notorious for this behaviour (The 'Easter Bunny' isn't just delivering chocolate if you know what I mean) but are by no means alone in their springtime quest to proliferate their own kind.

So it should come as no surprise that reptiles are no different. Snakes too must get it on. Only for them it means gathering together in the warm sun to form a giant writhing mass of copulation. Luckily for me, the best place in the world to view this phenomenon is right here in good old Manitoba. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to view an event unique to Manitoba, nor to pass by the many chances to use the word 'snake' as a euphemism for 'penis' in clever and off-colour ways, my roommates and I set out to witness the Garder Snake orgy that occurs yearly at Narcisse, Manitoba.

We were somewhat dissappointed because being a cloudy, cool day the cold-blooded snakes were not out in their usual numbers. However, we were able to pick up some snakes and hold them and jokes ensued. We were also able to witness a few small masses of copulating snakes. This gave one the opportunity to wonder if the snakes aren't on to something. Writhing about in a large mass meant that the normally solitary snakes were able to release all their pent up sexual energy in the protection and annonymity that comes with being part of a large, random group of bodies. Well, it works for them anyway.

Unfortunately we were not able to muster the courage to ask the interpreter to explain to us what parts of a snake exactly have to make contact in order for fertilization to occur. This was primarily due to the fact that it is an awkward question and, secondly, that the interpreter was an attractive female. So the question was left un-asked and a potentially uncomfortable social situation was avoided. However, if we were snakes, this wouldn't have mattered and we would have simply joined the pile. Perhaps that is what the snake part of me (unintended double entendre...I'm going to choose to leave it in) would want as well but the human part would need something else...a relationship I guess. On the other hand, there are people whose inner (and outer...HA!) snake has taken over to the extent that this type of random sexual encounter is all they need, or are capable of having.

Well, kudos to snakes who don't appear to need anything but to reproduce solely to ensure that there will be 70,000 snakes writhing about in the dens next year and every year afterward.

Looking forward this week to: The year 2032. Things will probably be pretty different by then.